Getting your groove back. There comes a time when all of us get in a rut and need a change. Let’s take a look on how to get you grooving again!
Have you ever seen the movie How Stella Got Her Groove Back? Stella is a very driven woman who has put her all into her job and her son and ignored herself. Her bestie convinces her to take a much-needed first-class vacation to Montego Bay, where she gets her groove back. She realizes what is important and works to achieve that all-important work-life balance. Let's talk about how you can get your groove back.
Keep your goals in sight to get your groove back on track
The movie How Stella Got Her Groove Back provides a great example of the way one person can lose sight of who they are in life. I think there’s no better example than when we become too busy with kids, work and spouse responsibilities that our own needs get lost among everything else going on. Just like how people might take time off from their regular schedule to go find themselves for awhile by traveling somewhere new or doing something out-of-the ordinary; it is necessary every so often to reevaluate where you want your priorities set at home as well before taking any drastic measures such as moving away with someone 20 years younger than yourself!
Throw out the emotional garbage to get your groove back
Before you can start working on getting your groove back, you have to clear out the garbage that has been holding you back. When I say garbage I mean the emotional matters in your life that are holding you back. You likely have emotional garbage that has been holding you back from being happy, many of us do. Clearing out the negative emotions in your life is a difficult but important step towards enjoying yourself and living with purpose. If there are any people who have wronged you, it's time to forgive them before they drag on and anchor themselves into your future opportunities.
It can be hard to forgive someone from your past who has done you wrong. The more egregious the offense, the harder it is to get go. But holding on to that anger, to that grudge, to those emotions doesn’t serve you. My Poppop always told us, “Don’t hold a stone on your heart.” Our family does our best to live by these words. And in my experience, the wrong you are stewing about has likely been thrown on the trash heap long ago by the person who did it.
In the book “In the Meantime” by Iyanla Vanzant she discusses how we have to start in the attic of our mind all the way to the basement of our minds. Doing this will help clear out all the emotional junk and garbage that we have hiding in there, freeing us to move on, achieve our goals and be our best selves.
And to be clear, forgiving someone who has wronged you doesn’t mean you have to let them back into your life with open arms. It means you are letting go of the emotions associated with the act . It also means letting go of the anger you have been holding on to. All of that holds you back from growth, reaching your goals and getting your groove back.
It’s also important to note that the person you might need to forgive is yourself.
Let’s get physical (you know you sang that)
The emotional garbage in your head isn’t the only thing that can keep you from getting your groove back. Physical matters can also hold you back. We had a pile in our house that grew, and grew, and grew. It was where my craft and eBay table was supposed to be located, but it turned into the “dump all the crap in the house” space. You know the space, when you don’t know where to put something, you put it on the pile. The damn pile seemed to take on a life of it’s own and was just overwhelming. The more I thought about cleaning it, the less appealing that sounded. So now, I’ve got a big mess and I feel like crap about said mess. Now, this mess is living in my head, taking up way too much space.
In the movie, Stella was working at a job that was very profitable but the stress was overwhelming. Her dream was to build furniture and she wasn’t doing anything to make her dream a reality. Very few people realize that the things we don’t do will drain us more than the things we actually physically handle.
Procrastination and goal setting don’t mix
When you procrastinate, it brings your energy level down and eventually makes it even harder to get things accomplished. Your subconscious accuses you of being lazy and after a while, you start to believe what your mind is telling you is true. Self-talk is a powerful thing and we need to make sure we are using that power for good.
People think of their health as a one-off thing, but it's really not. Your physical well being is inextricably linked to your mental and emotional state; so if you're feeling down or unmotivated then there are steps that need to be taken for getting back on track! This is a perfect area to set short-term goals.
For instance, if an old habit such as working out gives you way too much anxiety, start with baby steps and small short-term goals. Start with a short-term goal of taking a walk around the block or going to a workout class you loved, 2-3 times a week. As you master that, increase the number of times you go or the activity you are engaging in until you reach your long-term goal of a daily workout. This is how short and long-term goals can help you get your groove back!
The garbage is gone, let’s get your groove back!
OK, you’ve taken out all the garbage, now what? Well, now it’s time to focus on YOU. So often, we put everyone else first, work, spouse, kids, family. But if you aren’t at your best, how can you take care of others? Spoiler alert, you can’t. What you can do to get your groove back are things for self-care.
Self-care is going to look different for everyone. I have a friend who takes off from work on Thursdays and just does whatever makes her happy. It might be reading a book in a coffee shop or cleaning the house with no one to bother her. This isn’t something that would work for me personally, and that’s OK. Your self-care might mean taking a walk every day, carving out time to take a bath or read a book, getting a mani/pedi or taking a weekend away at a hotel. Whatever self-care helps you, DO IT! Just like you have long-term and short-term goals, you should have small and big self-care things. You can’t take a weekend away every day, but you can certainly make time for a daily shower. And while that might seem like obvious self-care, if you are a brand-new Mom, it can be QUITE challenging!
To get your groove back, you might need to let more than physical and emotional garbage go…
Growing up, there was an advice columnist named Dear Abby. People would write into a newspaper with questions and she would dole out advise. Welcome to life before Facebook. People would frequently write in with relationship questions and her answer was often are you better off when them in your life or out of your life? Does what they bring to you help you or hinder you?
When you are looking to get your groove back and reach your goals, you need to surround yourself with people who will help you get to that goal. Are you in a relationship where you are doing a disproportionate amount of giving compared to what you get back? It might be time to reevaluate. This isn’t just about romantic relationships; friends and family can be energy suckers too.
There are times that people will take your kindness for a weakness and take advantage of you. This is where setting boundaries will come in very handy. You deserve to be happy and supported. You have a right not to feel drained by people in your life. So if there are people who are sucking the life out of you that you feel you cannot cut ties with, set boundaries for them and stick to them.
In addition, you have the right, always, to say no, to anything. Christmas as your family causes you high anxiety? Don’t go. You have the right to say no. A friend always wants to spill all her problems on you when you are in the middle of your own stuff? Tell her you can’t talk right now. Anyone who truly loves and supports you will support your boundaries.
You got this!
You've got this! You can get your groove back! Your goals are in your reach! You have greatness in you and the ability to reach it!